Relationships are very tricky in modern waters. With each little wave of social media or lecture on self empowerment our small relationship boats flails to and fro. How do we keep from being capsized? It’s so easy in these days to get caught up in emotions and self awareness casting aside the needs of others. This is the very seed that sinks most relationships.

For example: most people could conclude that spicing up a relationship means adding more creative physical positions or adult adventures. The flaw in this is that the focus of the couple may become divided one from other. Focusing on illicit addictive activity most often pulls couples apart promoting selfishness. This is how infidelity splits marriages apart. It makes a crack that takes the focus off of serving one another and turns it to self servitude.

Many times hobbies and friends become our focus and then we wonder why our spouse hates us. Surprise! We left them alone while we played. No one likes being left behind.

So, how do we spice up our marriage? There are a few rules.

• We need to decide to be together – This means giving 100% from each spouse. Anything less then 100% each is not strong enough when it comes to marriage. If we don’t, when storms come, we will abandon our spouse protecting our own head.

• We need to commit to serve our spouse above all else – We love who we serve and we serve who we love. We come to know our spouse physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually making them part of us.

• We need to assume responsibility for our own emotions – If we are following the emotional whims of the minute, instead of our own hearts and minds, we become insincere (aka flakes) to everyone around us. We can’t base our emotions on momentary clips of time but, on our long term desire. Play it for the long game.

When we follow these simple rules... sincerely, we will feel a seed of oneness start growing in us. With this oneness comes trust, loyalty, devotion, and a deep passionate affection one to another.

I don’t know exactly when it happened but, now sometimes as I lay awake at night. My heart experiences almost uncontrollable joy just knowing my wife is asleep beside me. My gratitude for her companionship, especially in the rough seas, is the real spice in our marriage that keeps our boat afloat.

Funny thing, biologically, we produce pheromones that play a large part of finding each other in the first place. If through life's journey we follow this prescription above; these pheromones become noticeable again. Our consciousnesses can truly become entwined eternally.